Written Stuff

Friday 10 June 2011



It’s that time of the year again. Schools and colleges re-open and so do the heavens. Some people look forward to the rains which bring a respite from the summer’s searing heat and for others rainy days and Mondays always makes them gloomy. For those out-of-towners traveling in Mumbai can be quite an experience. Avinash, who’s  from Hyderabad and Lorraine who hails from  Goa share their experiences.

 ‘Commuting’  - by Avinash Agarwal.

For a person staying in the ruthless city of Mumbai, this is second nature. Millions of pushing-shoving-sweating-stinking-irritable commuters on this city’s rails and roads have given a new meaning to the word. It has lost its charm and become a daily battle, with nothing glorifying about it.

But there’s a reason people say, “Enjoy the journey, not the destination” and “When you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em”. Fuse the two sayings together and you’ll see, there’s simply no way out! You might as well enjoy the commute while you commute.

Commuting is much more than just getting from place to place. It’s more than a mechanical activity involving 2 or 4 (or more) wheels. It’s the green and blue and vividly colored blurs on the way, as you look out the window. It’s that evergreen track the radio station surprises you with, in the midst of their daily buffet of advertisements. It’s the touch of that soft hand when you are dawdling in the name of walking, not really headed in any direction. It’s that feeling of wanting to go someplace and reaching the crossroads, then realizing that your destination is called ‘right here, right now’.

Enjoy the commute!
Commuting –  by Lorraine Fernandes
I remember my first train ride in Mumbai. I was SO kicked!
I had come from Goa, where all you get is rickety buses that take ages to reach your destination. And now, I was travelling in this marvelous system!
My profile picture that week was of the logo of the ladies compartment.
For a long time I’d stand at the door and feeling so inspired. I’d watch the different women and wonder about their lives
I think my excitement about the Mumbai train network died a heroic death when I unknowingly travelled by a Virar fast. It was the monsoons and I was in one of those old trains that do not forewarn you about the next stop.
When I finally made it to the door after pushing, shoving and hitting, I got onto the platform with the crowd. It was a magical, out of body experience. I was levitating; My feet were three inches above ground and I was moving! Then, suddenly, as if bursting a bubble, the crowd dispersed and I was brought down to my feet. Thump.

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Would you like to make your Answering Machine Recordings more interesting? Maybe you could consider these unusual ones contributed by Avinash and Lorraine.

·         “I was waiting all week. And NOW you call?! BAD TIMING!”
·         “Osama is NOT DEAD. It’s all a Top-secret US conspiracy. Your phone shall self destruct after the beep. RUN for your life!”
·         “I wish I could take this call. But I don’t want to. I’ve got better things to do”
·         “EEEW! Your breath smells NASTY! Even over the wire. Please brush after the beep”
·         “This is the first telephone set ever invented. It even has Graham Bell’s fingerprints on it. What you say could rewrite history. Choose your next words carefully”
·         “You can wait for the beep. Or you can SHUT UP now. There’s a reason I didn’t take this call”
·         “Hi. You’ve dialed a wrong number. Please disconnect and redial”
Hi, I’d like to order a large pizza. Pepperoni and extra cheese.
Your telephone is going to explode in 3,2,1…*beep*
GET OUT OF MY LIFE, AND NEVER CALL ME AGAIN! You mother *beep*
No, I’m not out. I’m actually at home sitting next to the phone. I just like to screen people before I actually pick up the phone.
This is a test; if I pick up the phone I like you.

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